Sunday, June 30, 2013

Failing ain't fun

I got another email the other day, the same as all the rest.

"Everything all right?" it read. "I can't remember you ever going this long without posting something new on the blog.

"It's been weeks, man. Are you okay?"

This being an old friend who was reaching out I responded to him in the usual way: I told the truth. But other people, loyal readers who'd made similar inquiries, received far less respect from me than this.

I lied to them. I apologize. It won't happen again.

The standard line I'd been feeding these people went something like this: "Been real busy, also traveling a lot. Not much time in the kitchen and so nothing new to report. Hopefully things'll lighten up and I'll get some new stuff up on the blog pretty soon. Thanks for checking in, though. Really appreciate your interest — a lot!"

Except for that last line, which I stand hard by, every other word is bullshit. I haven't been busy. Or on the road much. I've been right here. Licking some pretty deep wounds over two failed attempts — a proposed Italian cookbook and a weekly newsletter — at taking this blog to the next level. Both the book proposal and the newsletter were rejected and are dead now. And I'd be lying to you (again) if I pretended that the taste is no longer bitter.

These failures, it turns out, sapped my enthusiasm for continuing on with this blog.

I should say that I allowed this to happen, but then what does it matter? I do not intend on tolerating such disruption much longer.